Hello and thanks for visiting my site:
I am Sally O'Reilly, BA Psych, MA Couns Psych, MIAHIP, SIAHIP, MEAP. I work in full time private practice as a Counselling Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Supervisor accredited with the IAHIP (Irish Association of Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapy, which is a member of ICP). I also hold the European Certificate of Psychotherapy from the EAP.
We pay a lot of attention in therapy to partnerships and family relationships. But what of friendships? These enormously influential relationships deserve attention too. They might be our sole source of support. They might be utterly toxic. Either way the importance of our friendships can often be overlooked. On sister site Two Wise Chicks we posted a piece on toxic friendships, how to spot them, how to deal with them. This piece is best described as the musings that inspired that post.
I think it was Goodfellas, definitely a mafia film, where I saw the following scene:This guy owed our hero, his friend, $10. Our hero was having a lot of trouble retrieving the money, he kept on trying but his 'friend' was creative with excuses.
We've all been there right?READ MORE
As teenagers' exposure to media increases, so does the pressure they feel to look 'good'. This pressure is experienced by both genders and is applied in various ways. This piece looks at the pressure on teenaged girls specifically. It was first posted on sister site TwoWiseChicks with a really lovely follow up post written by my colleague here.
Do you suck your tummy in when you think other people are looking at you? Why?
Every day, women (and men) are bombarded by messages on the TV, radio, print media including the internet telling us (and selling us) on how to change how we look.READ MORE
Recently there has been a lot of welcome discussion around standards of training and supervision in the fields of counselling and psychotherapy. The current move is towards stricter regulation so that clients might be better protected and safer in their work with their chosen professional. Part of that work involves defining those professions.
You can see in my header on this site that I use the word counselling three times to describe what I do. A sign of changing times is that I need to substitute the word 'Counselling' with 'Psychotherapy'.
(And I will as soon as I switch this site over to Wordpress, or rather, get help switching it, not being as tech savvy as I'd like!!)READ MORE
I'm pretty certain that you, like me, have been left feeling a little chilled at some point after receiving a long-awaited apology. Instead of feeling relief, you’re left with a churning stomach, your heart is thumping, you’re feeling de-centred, uncertain, maybe even irritated. (I initially posted this one on TwoWiseChicks, a sister blog I write with a friend and colleague - please do feel free to have a look!)
I'm pretty certain that you, like me, have been left feeling a little chilled at some point after receiving a long-awaited apology. Instead of feeling relief, you’re left with a churning stomach, your heart is thumping, you’re feeling de-centred, uncertain, maybe even irritated.READ MORE
We say "sorry" to much. I'm very conscious of hearing the word in therapy, on the street, in the school where I work once a week, shops.. and so on ad nauseum. We're all apologising, usually unnecessarily. And it seems to me that the less confident among us do it more often. I'm very interested in how we use words and how that teaches other people how to treat us, and that's why I wrote this piece (for this blog and for TwoWiseChicks, the blog I co-author with my wise, lovely friend and colleague Tanya).
We say 'sorry' too much.
This isn't a criticism, more of an observation. "Sorry!" has become a social nicety, a social convention, that seems to have gone terribly wrong. Over-saying sorry not only dilutes its true meaning, it can also be a way we in which we unwittingly dismiss ourselves and allow others to follow suit.READ MORE
Ending a friendship can hurt deeply. For those of us who have experienced this particular brand of hell we know that losing a friend can be more complex and more difficult to recover from than the loss of a romantic relationship.
And sometimes (most times?) it is the best way to develop a deeper understanding of our needs and wants, and can therefore be the first step towards developing healthier, more fulfilling friendships than ever before.
Once we're done grieving.
Here I look how to recognise the sign of a toxic friendship, one you would do well to escape. Because just as we can walk away from a romantic partner when we are unhappy, we can also walk away from friends that aren't good for us. And just as with romantic partners, apart from the odd gut feeling niggle, we may not fully realise we're involved with toxic people until we really allow ourselves to think about it.
I first posted this piece on sister site TwoWiseChicks.
Did you know that friendships have an average shelf life of 7 years?
The ones that last longer are the deeper friendships that are truly nourishing and good. They are worth your investment, because the joy, fun, trust, encouragement and support outweigh the irritations, the upset, the clashes (which are normal). Even if you rarely actually see eachother!
I often hear people jokingly say "Aaah I have a touch of the SADS". We moan about the greyness of winter, the early nights, the short days. We say it affects us, but does it really? Here's an article that explores the phenomenon of Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. This post was written by a fellow psychotherapist Joseph Burgo and appeared on Fix.com here.
I often hear people jokingly say "Aaah I have a touch of the SADS". We moan about the greyness of winter, the long nights, the short days. We say our mood is 'dark', we hope for light 'to be shed' on things, we long for something to brighten our mood, we talk of Winter dreariness. We say it affects us, it's built into our language. But does it really affect us?READ MORE